Friday, March 23, 2007

Sheeple Watching

Oh, the senseless Sheeple, they’ll be the ruin of us all!
Two things: Energy saving light bulbs and energy conservation.
In most cases, these would be part of the same discussion – but not today boys and girls, I’ve got a separate bee to pick on each one of these.

Sheeple date: March 22, 2007
For all intents and purposes, a fabulous day. The weather was mild, the morning had that unmistakable warm smell that signifies spring. But the pisser here is that on this date I heard two stories on the CBC that made me want to strangle someone – and I’m not a violent person… really! I’m not.

Dumb story #1
Energy Saving light bulbs – those happy, fabulous little inventions that have cut my own personal power consumption by a large portion; fantastic little catalysts for change among the sheeple, to help them see the error of their Walmart-style wasteful life choices. These are a great little item, really, they are! BUT: the CBC got hold of an audio clip of some guy talking about a 4 inch flame that came shooting out of one of these bulbs. And it became a whole story on the safety issues of these bulbs.

First, buddy there needs to take it easy on whatever hallucinogenic aids he makes part of his everyday routine, four inches? Come ON! Secondly, these bulbs have been around for years and a single reported incident like this becomes major news and we all know what major news means - - it leads fear amongs the sheeple, which grows instantly to paranoia, and their bleating, “My babies, what about the children?!” Mass hysteria, sheeple gone wild. I have even heard today that one particular member of the flock has become less interested in using these light bulbs since this story broke.

A “reputable” news source like the CBC really needs to be held accountable for sensationalizing crap in order to get the listeners all riled up. They need to present a balanced look at these stories which can lead to upsetting the livestock who are bound to get their feedbags in a knot about such nonsense.
It’s maddening, really it is.

Dumb story #2

I can’t blame the CBC for this one, they are just telling it like it is. On the same day as that fabulous light bulb panic, they aired a story about Toronto Hydro who, although is impressed with our efforts and victories in the area of energy conservation, will be introducing a hike in price due to our aforementioned savvy energy conservation. It appears that when we waste less energy, we buy less energy, and I guess they weren’t prepared for that brilliant leap of logic. Since a large number of us have managed to control our usage, they will be making less money, so they’ve announced that they will be charging us more anyway, in order to meet their targets. Great! Conserve energy – save the planet, and oh yes, we’re going to increase your rates to provide us with an amount of money which is suspiciously similar to the amount that you saved by cutting your consumption. Suspiciouly similar, you ask? Damn straight, it’s actually the same amount.

In conversations with individuals who are not card-carrying herd members, a logical solution has emerged. Since the sheeple will always waste what is plentiful and cheap and since our energy is subsidized in Ontario, it seems to make damn fine sense to charge consumers a rate that reflects what a kilowatt is really worth. Then, idiots who don’t give a shit will be racking up large energy bills, which might inspire them to think about their wasteful ways (and I used the term “think” loosely). Another snappy idea is to offer rebates to reward conservation efforts by civilians.

No comments: